


I Make A Terrible Boyfriend

by donniedont



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys In Love, Dildos, Hospitals, Injury, Kink Meme, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Strap-Ons, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:35:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24783967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donniedont/pseuds/donniedont
Summary: A fill for the following FE3H Kinkmeme Light prompt:"Doesn’t even have to include the actual sex scene, I just want Dimitri to (accidentally) send someone to the ER after a consensual sex encounter gone awry because Dimitri doesn’t know his own strength. Keep it lighthearted, please, would prefer no gore or and definitely no fatal or permanent injuries!"AKA, Claude accepts Dimitri's invitation to try something new.  While things don't quite go as planned, they do give him an opportunity to be more open about his feelings.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 81
Collections: FE3H Kinkmeme Light





	I Make A Terrible Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Before I begin, I want to give a huge thanks to the person who prompted this! The image became so distinct in my mind and it allowed me to finally try to write from Claude's POV! 
> 
> Also, a HUGE thanks to my Claude consultant, Eth! Your unending support is always appreciated and I really hope I did your boy justice. Thank you, as always, for a paw to hold. 
> 
> **Content Warnings** References to past instances of bullying, descriptions of a wrist injury, dubious science regarding the reasoning for said wrist injury, and depictions of an emergency room

Claude didn’t think that people actually had to go to the emergency room from sex-related injuries until he ended up having it happen to him.

Perhaps it was inevitable. Claude was facilitating a variety of unknown factors he typically wasn’t particularly interested in entertaining before that night. He learned how to talk a big game about sex long before he even had his first kiss. But even now it felt like a persona that was impossible to remove. There was comfort in people making wild assumptions about his sex life, if only because it was a perfect smokescreen for the truth that he couldn’t say he had done much. 

The only time that he ever wished that he had this level of expertise was when Dimitri was involved. Dimitri, also known as “I don’t know, some guy” or “You know, the person I met on the internet.” The certain someone that ate up Claude’s vacation time, because he was wiling to take a ridiculous long bus ride to visit.

And as much as Claude wanted to deny that his feelings toward others could compromise his plans at this point in his life, Dimitri had that effect on Claude. 

It didn’t help that Dimitri had no idea of his ability. This guy brought his golden retriever energy to everything he did, a different type of passion from Claude’s, but one that could match him in terms of intensity. To a point that when Dimitri admitted that he had brought a variety of sex toys on an international bus trip.

“I just… I wanted to be able to provide options should you… actually want me to…” Dimitri said, cutting himself off with an exaggerated gulp for air. He began to drum his hand on his frayed luggage, the color a shade of blue that nearly everything he owned seemed to be. 

“Actually want you to what?” Claude asked, grinning. He crossed his arms and stuck his hip out, too amused by Dimitri’s clumsy language surrounding sex.

“…To fuck you,” Dimitri said. Claude swallowed and immediately choked, sputtering coughs as he tried to step away from Dimitri.

“Oh!” Claude squawked, “You… you remembered that conversation?!” The only time he ever brought it up was at three o’clock in the morning a week before. He couldn’t get to sleep, and Dimitri was lucid enough that he was up to text with him until Claude could finally awkwardly fall asleep on a couch. 

“It seemed important,” Dimitri said.

Claude tried to take several deep breaths. Of course that was why Dimitri remembered the conversation. In a world that people typically saw sexual inexperience as something that needed to be dominated, Dimitri saw it as a dramatic opportunity for character development. Because of course he did. 

“I mean,” Claude said, “It doesn’t have to happen.”

Dimitri nodded. “I entirely understand,” he replied, “I just wanted to be prepared should you want it to.”

Claude rolled his eyes, sitting down next to Dimitri. “Show me what you brought,” he said. 

Dimitri nodded, unzipping his luggage. He opened it up, Claude biting back a potential joke about how Dimitri was in his twenties and still didn’t know how to fold his clothes efficiently. He riffled through them, pulling out a small, nondescript black bag. It could have passed as a toiletry bag, even though Claude could recall seeing his actual one in the bathroom. 

“I didn’t bring all of them,” Dimitri explained. He unzipped the bag and opened it up, showing off several dildos in neat pouches.

Claude counted six and nearly jumped up. “How many do you have?!” he asked.

Dimitri blushed. “I… I want to make sure I have options!” he explained. “Uh… you can look at them. Like, touch them and whatnot. They’re all clean.”

Claude nodded, quietly slipping one out of its pouch to inspect it. “Are all your dildos blue?” he asked.

Dimitri stared at him for a long moment, sighing loudly. “One has some silver and gold in it. It’s on the end.”

Claude put the other one back and yanked out the one Dimitri spotlighted. It appeared to be firmer than the other one, a bit wider with ribbons of metallic shades of silver and gold flowing throughout it. He ran his finger over the textured side of it and tossed it toward Dimitri. “This one,” he declared.

Dimitri gasped, catching it. “Are you certain? Each one is slightly different…”

Claude laughed. “It’s fine, dude. Seriously.”

“It’s not fine!” Dimitri yelled. He covered his mouth, quickly looking away from Claude. Claude scooted away, keeping his hands up. He thought that he was past the point of bothering people to a point that they yelled at him, but apparently he wasn’t.

“I’m sorry,” Dimitri apologized. He slowly brought his hand away from his face. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice.”

“I was being a jerk,” Claude replied. He lowered his hands, flexing them against the carpet, “I appreciate that you’re taking this seriously. One of us has to.”

It took a long while for Claude to coax Dimitri into conversation again. It took a long while before Dimitri was responding for more than two word answers. Claude tried his best to be serious, maintaining eye contact with Dimitri. Its seemed to work enough to have Dimitri refocus, the toy still in his hand. 

“Are there any positions you don’t feel comfortable with?” Dimitri asked, pointing with the dildo. Claude glanced down, biting the inside of his lip to resist laughing.

Claude shook his head. “Not that I know of,” he replied.

“If anything does…” Dimitri started.

“Tell you. I know,” Claude said. He squeezed the tip of the toy, relieved to hear Dimitri giggle.

“I must warn you of one thing,” Dimitri had said, his face suddenly serious again. Claude looked up at the ceiling, trying to make sure he didn’t get distracted. “I need to tell me if I’m hurting you. I’m not the best at gauging it. Is that all right with you?”

Claude slowly nodded his head, making eye contact with Dimitri again. “I can do that,” he confirmed, “That’s no problem at all.” It made enough sense. Dimitri went to the gym often enough that Claude could bait some gym selfies out of him at least once a week. Of course he was going to be strong, especially if he was taking the lead. He thought about how Dimitri had already proven he could lift Claude with ease with their clothes on and he grinned.

Dimitri leaned in, pressing a quick kiss on his lips before politely guiding Claude to the bed. Dimitri slotted himself against Claude, pressing his knee between Claude’s legs. Claude took a shuddering breath, kissing Dimitri again before he rocked his hips against him. 

“Again, I need you to tell me if I’m hurting you,” Dimitri repeated.

Claude nodded, about to make a snappy comment until Dimitri pressed a kiss at the base of his neck. Claude gasped, watching Dimitri trail his kisses down, the kisses alternating between featherlight and wet before he opened Claude’s legs wider and ran his tongue over his clit.

Claude bit down a moan, his mind refusing him to tilt entirely under a spell of lust. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. Dimitri was far better than he was at receiving this sort of affection. It was far more appealing watching Dimitri graciously go down on him than when Dimitri bottomed, which typically featured him sheepishly shoving his face in a pillow.

But even then, Claude couldn’t let go. He wondered how much it would break Dimitri’s heart if he knew that no matter how many years they were in a relationship, he would always worry that someday they would fall apart. Dimitri would walk around the world knowing his most intimate secrets. That one day all this information could be revealed to mutual friends as some sort of attack for whatever transgressions led to the end of their relationship.

Claude tried his best to focus on Dimitri, his eyes shut as he sucked on Claude’s clit. Claude felt pleasure coil deep within himself and he let out a moan, angered at his body and how his hips rocked against Dimitri’s face on impulse. 

Dimitri pulled away for a moment, his eye heavy lidded with lust as he grabbed a spare pillow. He lifted Claude up with ease, slipping a pillow under the small of his back. He brought his mouth to Claude’s clit again, lapping at it as he brought one of his fingers toward Claude’s entrance.

The problem with Dimitri was that he was one of the people who was the closest to cracking whatever code Claude had put on the lock around his chest. Dimitri probably didn’t realize it. Even so, he asked, “May I enter you?” with enough weight to his words that Claude wondered if maybe, just maybe, he understood how serious this whole thing was.

“Yeah,” Claude said. He took a deep breath as Dimitri wetted his finger against him before he slowly eased himself in, moving slowly until he found a rhythm. He brought his other hand against Claude’s clit, moving two fingers in circles, pressing down and maintaining a coordinated effort with enough poise that Claude willed himself to lean his head back and take a deep, shuddering breath.

“You like doing this, don’t you?” Claude asked. A throwaway line that usually worked when their roles were reversed.

Dimitri laughed, a deep rumble that Claude could feel in his own chest. “I do,” he said, “I enjoy giving someone I love pleasure.”

Claude stared at the ceiling, his eyes wide. At least he didn’t feel like he had to say I love you back. “Well, I appreciate it, big guy,” he said. 

Dimitri laughed, unceremoniously inserting a second finger inside and Claude gasped, arching his back as he slammed himself against Dimitri’s fingers with enough force that his whole body shook. Dimitri reached toward his harness, trying to keep his fingers inside Claude as he awkwardly attempted to step into his harness, setting the buckles in place with one hand. He set the dildo through the ring at the base of it and reached toward the nightstand, frowning.

“Lube?” Claude asked. Dimitri nodded his head as Claude reached over and popped the bottle open and dribbled some in his hand. 

“Thank you,” Dimitri said quietly, slowly stroking the toy until he slid forward, his legs straddling Claude. He leaned in close toward Claude, his hair spilling across Claude’s chest. “And you’re certain you want this?” he asked, his voice low. 

“Absolutely,” Claude confirmed.

Dimitri kissed him, his mouth open and inviting as he guided himself inside Claude. Claude shut his eyes, feeling himself filled by Dimitri. Dimitri stayed still for a moment, taking a shallow thrust before he set a slow rhythm.

“You’re the first guy who’s been inside me,” Claude noted and he wished he could grab each word and shove it back into his mouth. He had prided himself on maintaining enough mystery that Dimitri could never truly understand how inexperienced he was.

Dimitri blinked several times, his kiss swollen lips parting slightly. “Am I?” he asked.

Claude scrunched his nose. He was holding out that Dimitri didn’t hear him. “Uh, yeah, but like. I’ve been with other people. No big deal.”

“Well, I’m honored,” Dimitri replied. He brought Claude’s legs up and rested them on his shoulders. He thrusted against Claude again, much deeper at the new angle. Claude gasped, reaching out helplessly toward Dimitri, unable to deny how his heart fluttered when Dimitri grabbed his hands.

Right at the point Claude was about to say his legs ached, Dimitri pulled out, gently guiding Claude upright. “Follow my lead,” Dimitri told him.

Claude nodded, realizing that he was definitely fuck drunk, giving no complaints when Dimitri turned him around and helped him sit on his dildo. Dimitri reached out toward one of Claude’s arms, gently bringing it behind his back. Claude brought his other arm back, Dimitri setting it into place. He brought Claude’s wrists together, beginning to move his hips while holding them in place. Claude tried his best to move with him, feeling the grip on one of his wrists loosening before Dimitri grabbed it, turning it at an awkward angle. Claude gauged the pain, deciding it was bearable until Dimitri yanked it suddenly.

“Ow!” Claude cried out, loud if only to get Dimitri to release. Dimitri immediately let go of his arms, Claude trying to catch himself with his hands and hissed when he put weight on the wrist. He tried to raise his hand to shake it off, yelping when his wrist hurt too much to do it.

“ _ Oh no _ ,” Dimitri whispered. He carefully pulled out of Claude, moving in front of him to face him. Claude wanted to laugh at how preposterous he looked, wide eyed with a wet dildo attached to his crotch, but when he tried, it came out more like a croak. 

“Claude, you can’t move your hand, can you?”

Claude looked down at his arm. He tried to flex his hand, pain shooting up his arm again. He cringed, realizing this wasn’t something he could just shake off. 

“We need to go to the hospital,” Dimitri said.

“Whoa, what?” Claude asked, “No. I can just put some ice on it, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“I… I think I might have seriously injured your wrist,” Dimitri confessed.

Claude took a deep breath. Even if Dimitri was right, he didn’t want to waste one of the few nights they were going to have together in the emergency room. “I’m sure we can just go to a clinic tomorrow,” he suggested, keeping his tone light.

“Absolutely not,” Dimitri said firmly, “You can’t just walk something like this off.”

Claude laughed, having to remind himself that Dimitri didn’t know about the years he spent performing first-aid on himself, hoping each cut didn’t need stitches and every hit to the nose wouldn’t result in it breaking. Dimitri never asked about any of the scars that were still visible after all this time. Then again, it might have been a way to prevent Claude from asking about his own.

“Can you drive?” Claude asked, rubbing his eye. He was relieved that no tears formed.

Dimitri shook his head, gesturing sadly at the eye patch that neither of them removed during their tryst. “I don’t really drive anymore,” he said quietly.

Claude felt his stomach drop. “Ah, shit. That was my bad.” 

“Let me call an ambulance,” Dimitri said, “I’ll pay for it. I’ll pay for everything, because this was my fault.”

Claude tried to move, wincing when a shot of pain ripped through his arm again. “Why don’t we call a Lyft or something,” he suggested, “It’ll be less expensive and less of a scene.”

Dimitri opened his mouth. He looked ready to argue, eventually shaking his head. “If that’s what you want,” he said. “Let me help you get dressed.”

“You probably want to get out of the… harness,” Claude suggested.

Dimitri sighed. “Fair enough,” he murmured. He undid the buckles, setting the harness to the side before he got his clothes back on. He turned to Claude afterwards, staring at his arm before he unzipped his luggage and pulled a button-down flannel out of it. “I’m sorry,” he said before he guided Claude’s injured arm through the sleeve. Claude was unable to swallow back a scream, leaning forward and burying his face against Dimitri’s neck as Dimitri quietly apologized. Dimitri continued to get the shirt on him, taking one of Claude’s scarves and creating a makeshift sling before he continued to put his clothes on.

Claude watched Dimitri methodically go through each step. “You seem really calm for someone who just busted his paramour’s arm,” Claude said.

Dimitri shook his head, murmuring “ _ Paramour _ ?” before he admitted, “I think I’m just in work mode. Though I don’t think I’ve had a kid break their arm on my watch.” He gently lifted Claude’s hips as he slipped his pants on. “I’m so sorry I caused this, Claude. I know that I haven’t said that yet.”

“It was an accident,” Claude said, “Though when you said you were strong, I was thinking more leaving bruises, less breaking bones.”

“So did I,” Dimitri admitted. He took out his phone, confirming Claude’s address before he ordered a Lyft. “Do you trust me to pick you up and carry you?”

Claude rolled his eyes. “You busted my wrist, not my legs,” he grumbled. He still accepted Dimitri’s help to get him on his feet. He also didn’t argue with him when he decided that Claude couldn’t go outside wearing his sneakers like slippers, going as far as putting Claude’s shoes on and tying them tight.

“Another holdover from work mode?” Claude teased.

Dimitri rolled his eyes. “You have no idea,” he said ominously. 

The Lyft arrived moments later, Dimitri confirming the driver before he opened up the door for Claude, helping him inside. Dimitri was about to place his hand on Claude’s thigh, stopping short and twitching his fingers before he placed his hand back in his own lap.

Claude sighed, considering reaching out until the Uber driver asked, “Everything all right? I can speed if you need me to.”

Dimitri opened his mouth, Claude quickly saying, “Oh I just tweaked my wrist. He’s making me check to see if it’s broken or not.” 

Dimitri turned to him, his eye wide. The white of it glowed under the amber streetlights. 

“All right, fair enough,” the driver said, shifting the car out of park.

Claude knew that lying came easily to him. It had to growing up. Injuries may have been from attacks from other kids, but every scrape became a fall, every bruise became a bump, and whether it was his conviction or the adults in his life exhibiting gross negligence, people didn’t press further. 

He leaned back in his seat, burrowing his nose in the collar of his shirt. Dimitri’s shirt. It smelled like his laundry detergent, which he would have written off as some generic scent if it wasn’t for how familiar it was. It reminded him of the time he spent a week and a half with Dimitri, doing a load of laundry midway through the trip. Or the time Dimitri sent him a shirt and Claude found himself unable to bring himself to wash it for an embarrassingly long time.

He took another sniff, hoping he wasn’t drawing attention to himself. 

“I’m so sorry, my love,” Dimitri whispered. 

“ _ Stop _ ,” Claude grumbled, grabbing Dimitri’s hand and squeezing it. It was the second time he used that word in some capacity that night. Claude didn’t understand how Dimitri could use it so easily. He seemed to be able to love anything and everything. He loved Claude, but he also loved stuffy historical fiction, chamomile tea, and his threadbare stuffed lion his dead mom was gifted during her baby shower. It was an intensity that Claude would question the sincerity of with legitimately any other person, but when it was Dimitri he knew that it was the truth in every context. 

It was terrifying. But Claude couldn’t deny that he wasn’t going to run away until he absolutely had to.

The stark light of the emergency entrance cut through the car, the interior washed out. The driver was polite enough to open the door for Claude, Dimitri and him thanking the driver before they walked through the automatic doors.

“Just let me do all the talking,” Claude instructed. 

Dimitri slowly nodded his head. “You seem so calm in spite of this,” he murmured.

Claude shrugged. In truth, there were bolts of pain rushing up his arm every time his arm was jostled, but it wasn’t worth telling him. Dimitri was worried enough. He went to the desk, smiling at the person working there. He kept the information consistent with what he told the Lyft driver, making sure to smile and seem as pleasant as he could, even if he knew that it wasn’t going to help get him out of here any sooner. 

“Can I get your name?” the staff member asked.

Claude bit the inside of his lip. He turned to Dimitri for a brief moment before he looked forward again and said, “Khalid von Riegan.”

He couldn’t see Dimitri’s face, but he noticed his stance shift. 

He finished registration and led Dimitri toward a pair of seats. The waiting area appeared relatively empty, minus someone applying pressure on a bleeding hand and a kid who was clearly going through some sort of stomach distress while their mom sleepily tried to keep them calm. He sat down on the chair, leaning against the armrest to get a better look at Dimitri. 

Dimitri just took his phone out, quietly scrolling through social media.

At least Dimitri wasn’t accusing him of lying about his name. That would have been an annoying altercation to have in the middle of an emergency room. Even then, he wasn’t thrilled that Dimitri knew, no matter how polite he was acting. 

But it was another unintended vulnerability that he exposed to Dimitri. Even with his notable memory issues, he doubted he was going to forget this one, either.

“Claude…” Dimitri started. He shook his head. “Should I be using a different name for you?” He put his phone down and took a deep breath. “I knew you legally changed your name, but I had assumed…”

Claude cut him off by clapping his good hand, his heart pounding. He found himself terrified at the thought of Dimitri saying his other name. The margin of error was too great. He couldn’t allow Dimitri to become one of the well-meaning people who would butcher his name with a smile and Claude would be too terrified to correct it.

Claude shifted, aggravating his wrist. He gritted his teeth before he flopped back, looking away from Dimitri. Dimitri had his heart and he could never know.

Silence fell between them and Claude wished that somehow an emergency room would be efficient enough that he would be called. 

“I make you use the name I want you to use,” Claude said, “It’s as simple as that.”

Dimitri seemed to perk up at that. “I just wanted to check!” he said, his voice light. 

Claude rubbed his eyes. Of course that was Dimitri’s concern. Even with the whole wrist-breaking incident, it was hard to deny that Dimitri was trying to ensure his comfort the entire night. He opened his eyes to look down at the ridiculous sling that Dimitri created. 

Claude was called and Dimitri reached over to help him upright. Claude waved his hand away, knowing that if he lingered too long Dimitri would not stop saying encouragements, kissing him, whatever he saw fit to humiliate him in the middle of a quiet emergency room in the dead of night.

He tried his best to be an affable patient, answering all necessarily questions with just enough information to help the staff make a diagnosis. He agreed to an X-ray and he tried to remember that even if Dimitri couldn’t pay for things himself, he was the rare instance of a rich white kid who used his dad’s wealth to help poor, unfortunate sexual partners that got caught in his freak grip.

Claude just told the staff that he was walking his dog and the dog saw a skunk. He didn’t search the plausibility of that scenario, but no one questioned it, at least.

After it was confirmed as a sprain and he was given a definitely overpriced splint he was back in the waiting room, Dimitri rushing toward him.

Claude lifted his arm. “It’s a sprain,” he said, cringing when he realized how swollen his hand had gotten. “I’m going to survive, don’t worry.”

Dimitri took a deep breath, his shoulders notably lowering. “What are we going to have to do to treat it?” he asked.

_ We _ ? Claude asked himself, the word reverberating in his head. “I shouldn’t use it at all for the next two days. Ice it and stuff. I’ll have to get it looked at again, but I’ll make that appointment after we get some sleep.” He yawned and grabbed Dimitri’s arm with his good hand. “C’mon, let’s wait outside, I don’t want to be in here anymore.”

“Understood,” Dimitri said. He pulled up the app and ordered a ride home, the two of them claiming a bench toward the entrance. 

They sat there, Dimitri staring at his phone as Claude watched stray cars walk past. Claude glanced at Dimitri’s face, noticing how his lips were pressed together. 

“What’s on your mind, Mitya?” Claude asked.

Dimitri glanced up. “Oh. Nothing,” he said, “I’m just… I’m still so sorry about what happened. If you want me to leave, I can…”

“ _ What _ ?” Claude asked. Now it was Dimitri’s turn to flinch. Claude shook his head. “No. You’re my…” His mind was yanking on the word for “boyfriend,” and his mouth wasn’t quite cooperating. 

That was what Dimitri was to him, right? He could use different titles all he wanted, but at the end of the day it was just a flashy brandishing of words that were ultimately just synonyms for the truth. This wasn’t just a visit. Much like the last who even knows how many trips weren’t just visits. They were extended dates. Dimitri was in love with him and probably always was, even if he wasn’t going to force Claude to be. He was going to be happy with what he could have and in its own strange way made Claude realize that he probably loved him, too.

“…b-boyfriend,” Claude stammered. He cringed before he cleared his throat. “Boyfriend. My boyfriend. Yeah.”

Dimitri grinned, leaning into kiss Claude’s forehead. “As long as you are certain,” he said.

“Totally,” Claude said, “Though if we try to, uh,  _ do something _ the next few days, we’re going to have to come up with some ideas. I don’t feel like screwing up my wrist more.”

“I’m sure we can think of something,” Dimitri replied as their ride parked near them


End file.
